Story of My Life Today - Positives
Someone recently told me that I have officially broken every stereotype people have about "little old ladies."
I've also been told that mine is a superhero origin story.
Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.
When I tell people that Ford sent me and a guest (my sister extraordinaire) to experience Mustang Unleashed at the Charlotte, NC Motor Speedway's drag strip, they smile politely and say, "How nice!" Followed by, "Wait! What? You were driving a Dark Horse yourself and actually racing at 101 mph against another Dark Horse?"
People hear the growl of my Mustang expecting to see a 25 year old in sunglasses. Instead, I hop out (hop is part of the 95% fiction in my articles), all 79 years and 4' 11' of me.
My bucket list keeps getting longer, not shorter.
Normal 79 year old: Nap time
Me: Okay, I've done 101 mph and drift brake slides, what can I do next?
It's impossible to shop for me. What do you get a 79 year old woman (soon to be 80 on September 13th) who already has a performance car and drag strip certificate? Hint: gift cards to tire shops, track days and a dashcam to replay any maneuvers that may be slightly illegal on Pennsylvania roads.
People misjudge me in traffic. The big truck beside me at the light gets a demonstration of my launch technique learned at the "Christmas Tree" set of lights at the starting point of the drag strip. My reaction time is fast!
Neighborhood kids want to hang out with me. I'm often asked to rev my engine, which I only did once for my own satisfaction (after Googling how to rev a Mustang's engine)!
Ford is considering using me in their advertising campaign called "Extreme Grammy."
People have trouble believing my stories, but I have the photo and video proof. By law, when stopped by a cop (for driving a cool car), it's now mandatory to show my driver's license and as many photos/videos as Officer Impressed can stand.
I feel like I have redefined age-appropriate. The only cruise I care about is what happens when I hit the on-ramp.
My navigator is always riding shotgun and protecting me or my cargo from bandits. He's a pantsless primate with the attention span of a coconut, but he makes me laugh. He's also very Curious! Now he has me thinking, "What if I literally touched everything I shouldn't?" George is also a troublemaker. He often makes me exceed the speed limit and then we are chased by The Man in the Yellow (I mean gray Smokey Bear) hat. Luckily, we've never been caught (yet)!
My life is filled with positives and negatives, as I'm sure yours is also. I just choose to laugh at my imperfections even though I'm "practically perfect in every way!" Laughter is my superpower. What's yours? Don't be bashful. Be the first to comment to win my reader of the month award.
Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

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