Saturday, March 30, 2024

Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Sixty

Idiotic Behavior

By special request from my legions of fans (actually 3 friends), I’ve been told it’s been 54 weeks since my last confession (oops, I mean my last posting). Therefore, I will try to write more.

So as I came out of Eat ‘n Park with two of said friends, I found a warning card on my car’s windshield. It informed me that I had parked like an idiot because I was over the painted line. I was parked in a handicapped spot (legally) and two of my wheels were mere inches (slight exaggeration, it may have been a few feet) into the huge area allotted for vans. First of all, what kind of character bullies a handicapped (severe arthritis) person with a ruler? Secondly, it didn’t inconvenience anyone. And thirdly, in addition to parking like an idiot, I sometimes eat like one, too.

Which brings me to my quest to find the anonymous warning card dispenser. If you are the guilty one, I want to take you home with me (especially if you are male, single, a bit over retirement age and cute). You can police any idiotic eating behaviors (and there are many) that I exhibit. I will expect you to stop these behaviors before I “Cross the WW Eating Plan Line”! To paraphrase Johnny Cash, I want you to keep a close watch on this “food” of mine and because you’re mine, I’ll walk the line with 21 extra weekly food points. 

In conclusion, I want to thank Mr. Anonymous. My first reaction to his idiocy was anger. Then I was able to put into practice not taking everything so seriously. I was able to laugh at the situation and it gave me something to write about. I’m the type of person that thinks outside the box, colors outside the lines and occasionally parks outside them too. And if I should go over my daily WW points, there’s always tomorrow to get back in alignment. 

My Call To Action for all of us on this weight loss journey is: Try not to be an idiot!

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.


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Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

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