Friday, April 26, 2024

Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Sixty-one

Cargo Safety Nets

If you're like me, life has frequently fly-swatted you to the ground, down for the count. My East Coast son just enlightened me. All these years, I've been performing my death-defying stunts of working, playing, eating, sleeping, breathing, etc., all without benefit of a cargo safety net to protect me.

So moving forward, I'm going to commission DuPont to design a custom fitted Kevlar Cargo Net outfit to be worn on especially dangerous days. Since I'm smaller than a truck, I don't believe it will be cost prohibitive. I could have chosen nylon instead of Kevlar (too wimpy) or polyester (too itchy) or polypropylene (too polypropyleney). However, polypropylene is resistant to fatigue, and I often get tired, so it was a tough decision.

If only I had owned a Kevlar Cargo Net outfit during my teaching days in Pittsburgh Public School District classrooms. I would have avoided both humiliation and injury.

I purchased a high-backed, leather desk chair on wheels to use in my classroom. It was great for gliding on the tile floor between my desk and computer area. It was not so great for leaning over to retrieve fallen objects. SPLAT! Lying prone in one's classroom lacks dignity. Kevlar Cargo Net could have prevented this spillage. Twice!

On my weight loss journey, I periodically fall off the wagon. Wouldn't it be great to be caught by a cargo safety net before consuming all of my daily and weekly points on Day 1 of my new week? Currently, cargo nets can be purchased on Amazon with two day delivery times. They are elegant in design, comfortable (a very important feature for WW members), easy to use, versatile and would make an ideal gift (especially with Mother's Day just around the corner). 

Therefore, my new WW strategy besides Food, Mindset, Activity and Sleep, is going to be: Wear my cargo net at all times! If I start slipping on any of the above Four Pillars of WW, my cargo net will catch me before it's too late. 

Until next time, I hope you order your own cargo net. If you don't want to wear it, at least bundle up all of your junk food in the net and hang it in a very high place. I considered taking all of my junk food to Mount Davis in Pennsylvania, but did not want to litter or annoy Smokey the Bear. If you have creative ideas on how to get rid of trashy food, please don't hesitate to share them with me. I'm usually entangled in my cargo net and need reading material. 

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.


1 comment:

Popular Posts

Blog Archive

Search This Blog

About Me

My photo
Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

To contact the author, click the following link.

Print Friendly Version of this pagePrint Get a PDF version of this webpagePDF