Friday, October 28, 2022

Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-four

Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-four
Fat Busters  

Extermination squads are patrolling Monongahela, PA. I need to call them!

Angelo's II,  a popular bar and restaurant, features this display every Halloween. I've been told Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is standing above the paranormal Monongahela Monster. MM is so scary I've developed a bad case of Samhainophobia (fear of Halloween). This monster, indigenous only to suburbs of Pittsburgh, apparently causes fatty deposits to grow in humans. This phenomenon could also be linked to excess treating! 

Before calling Fat Busters, I asked my East Coast son the following question: 

Me: If you were handing out treats on Halloween, what would you give?

Answer: Advice!

I thought that was an excellent, healthy idea. So my costumed neighbors are in for a real treat. I need to think of at least 40 different pieces of advice to hand out, or I suppose I could give the same piece to everyone. Here's what I have so far:

Don't eat yellow snow.
Call 811 before digging.
Just be yourself. (Ironic advice to a unicorn!)

This is harder than I thought, but it is distracting me from thoughts of sweet treats. On this positive note, I must leave you and check under my bed and in closets again for any signs of the Monongahela Monster. At least my Halloween phobia only happens once a year. 

Until next time, I'm giving you advice that I remember from one of my WW meetings: Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Happy Halloween to all. 


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.


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Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

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