Look At Me Now!

By Sandra L. Seeley

It's been an amazing journey. It began with a Friday the 13th (my lucky number) September Boomer Birthday in the original Smallville, Donora, PA (Home of Champions). Hopefully, it will not end with my 60th birthday celebration. I'm once again living in Donora, PA and will be celebrating with the Class of 1964 Donora Dragons.

Lots of funny stuff happened in between, providing fuel for this Author, Humor Columnist, Consumer Crusader (see my Roman Meal articles), Public Speaker, and various titles too numerous to mention.

My next Public Speaking engagement is still in the negotiation stages. (Interpretation: Any chance you'll pay me to speak?) I'm hoping to speak humorously with serious overtones to Carlow College's New Choices Program. This program helps women open that door of opportunity. Look what it did for me. I was the woman in Intro to Computer Class taking notes on how to turn on the computer and monitor, which I now do effortlessly.

I have some favorite people in this world and in other worlds especially a favorite mother, favorite husband, favorite stepson, favorite son, and favorite daughter. (always save the best for last!) I also have 3 favorite brothers, 1 favorite sister, favorite in-laws and out-laws, and of course, a favorite editor. In other worlds, I have a favorite dad and 2 favorite dogs. Would this be too long for my Pulitzer Prize Thank-you speech?

Weight Watchers keeps sending me postcards saying, "We miss you. When are you returning?" Good question. I'm a lifetime achievement member who has fallen off the food wagon. Hey, journalism makes me hungry! I started sending postcards to Weight Watchers that say, "I'm too ashamed to come back now. I'll return when I'm thinner." Or "I'll return when Dave Barry agrees to come on my Talk Show or agrees to a Photo Shoot with me."

I've met some famous people on my journey. One was Diane Sawyer when she was the reigning America's Junior Miss in 1963. I had entered the Greater Pittsburgh's Junior Miss Pageant and came away with one trophy for Second Runner-up and one for Poise and Appearance. (no need for WW then.) These trophies have since burned in a devastating house fire and I would be eternally grateful if the Junior Miss Pageant people would replace them.

I've also met Jose Eber who actually touched my hair and said he liked it. For my Photo Shoot with Dave Barry, perhaps I'll fly on over to Rodeo Drive to have stars styled into my hair.

Hubert Humphrey (remember him?) shook my hand when he was campaigning in Pittsburgh.

Alumni solicitations keep arriving from California State College, PA (now the University of California, PA) and the University of Pittsburgh. Earning a BS Degree in Education and an MAT (Master of the Art of Teaching) Degree have enabled me to teach 5th grade in Hawaii (Kanela is the Hawaiian word for Sandra) and 1st, 4th, and 5th grades in Pennsylvania.

In between all of my Humor Columnist duties, I teach 4th grade in the Pittsburgh Public School District at Weil ALA (Accelerated Learning Academy) in the Hill District, the heart of the Pittsburgh urban community. I couldn't ask for better students, co-workers, or principal. (Actually I could, but there's that vow of silence again, not to mention binding arbitration.) Just Kidding! You're the best and all of you little people in Room 207 are my favorite students.

In addition to the usual interests of reading, writing, and world peace, I love Isshinryu Karate and scuba diving.

I have a belt in my favorite martial art form, I'm just not going to reveal which one. No need to brag!

I became a certified scuba diver after completing the NASDS Course. (National Association of Scuba Diving Schools) I have dived to a depth of at least 30 feet. I once found a sunken VW that was reported stolen and a dime! I also once fit into my wet suit.

Now it's time to negotiate that Public Speaking Contract and continue my Consumer Crusade against Roman Meal/Schwebel Baking Company. Don't buy or eat their stuff. It comes with junk enclosed. More about that later.

Note to self: Go back to Weight Watchers!
Need a Ghost Writer or Public Speaker? Email the author.

by Sandra Seeley at Humor With Kanela ~

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Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

To contact the author, click the following link.

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