
Thursday, March 16, 2023
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-nine

Saturday, February 11, 2023
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-eight
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-eight
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Mismatched By Dobby |
- I'll never be good enough to play my guitar and ukulele in front of anyone except my canine friend, Zeus. (Well, you will if you practice more!)
- I'm never going to reach my Weight Watcher goal. (Concentrate on the finish line, not the finish time!)
- If the product of two negatives equals a positive, does that mean that two negative thoughts are equal to one positive thought, and how do I keep track? (You never understood math, don't try now!)

Wednesday, February 01, 2023
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-seven
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-seven

Monday, January 23, 2023
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-six

Wednesday, December 28, 2022
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-five
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-Five

Friday, October 28, 2022
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-four
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-four

Saturday, October 22, 2022
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-three
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-three

Tuesday, September 27, 2022
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-two
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-two

Friday, September 09, 2022
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty-one
Mice Are Not Nice: Part Deux

Wednesday, November 03, 2021
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifty

Thursday, December 31, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-nine
Change is in the winds and clouds. To quote Mary Poppins: Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like somethin’ is brewin’ and bout to begin.
Can you feel the shift in the air pressure? Are you anticipating the possibilities of a new year? Will you embrace change?
The first change that is happening to me on January 1, 2021 (and probably a few other people) is that I will no longer be able to print from my Chromebook to the Cloud. I have been using this feature for years. So instead of sulking and waiting for my brother (and tech guru) who lives 3000 miles away from me, to come to my rescue remotely, and feeling empowered from just watching Wonder Woman 1984, I did my research on adding printers, grabbed my golden Lasso of Truth, donned my golden wings and took the risk of solving my own problem. Successful I was, but not without a few hurdles. The highest hurdle was locating the address of my printer. I rightly assumed it was not the same as mine, even though we live in the same house. The test print worked like a charm and I am now free to face more changes or in military lingo “embrace the suck!”
By the way, I watched WW84 on HBO Max. I just found out I had this app through Comcast. I called Comcast to ask tech support how to access this channel. I waited on hold longer than my wait at Walmart (see previous Chapter Forty-eight), so while waiting, I managed to solve my own problem, but had a relaxing conversation about movies when tech guy answered my call. So I already have two wins and the New Year hasn’t even started yet. “I Am Woman…”
These wins are putting the momentum on my side on this weight loss journey. I did not like the change to virtual WW workshops, so I stopped attending. Big mistake! Look for me at the next virtual meeting in Greensburg with coach extraordinaire, Kathy, on January 9th at 9 am. Mary Poppins told me, “Anything can happen if you let it.”
I received a much desired Erin Condren planner for 2021 as a Christmas gift. I already started planning. In the past, I would have felt like I was getting a head start on not keeping my Resolutions! This is not how the “changed” me feels. I’m setting measurable goals, writing with colorful pens and decorating with stickers. My BF, Mary Poppins, told me “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.”
Another west coast brother (I have 3) told me about psychological flexibility as a way of changing one’s mindset in dealing with challenges. More on that later.
Until next time, “I shall stay until the wind changes” or the cloud, and be lighter and happier. That is also my wish for you.

Wednesday, December 30, 2020
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-eight
Stuck In Traffic
Holiday traffic was at a standstill. There were no accidents or icy road conditions. I was not in a food line or Covid test line or a gas line from a previous life. I was in a foot traffic line inside my local Walmart. I was in the “speedy” check-out line with seven items already on the conveyor belt, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but store wide shut- down of all computers. I make a motion to have cash registers in place for emergency use. Besides being manually operative, I believe they are hack proof. Then I won’t have to worry about being a victim of data breach from Cozy Bear (Russians) or anyone else.
I really wanted my seven items, and couldn’t purchase them anywhere else, so I began searching my mind for ways to amuse myself while waiting. I started with people watching. Humans started abandoning full to the brim grocery carts while melty items dripped into puddles. Soon the alcove in front of me started looking like the deserted cars along a highway in a scene from The Stand.
Noise levels started rising as crying children and angry adults (some of them crying also) created a musical cacophony (I like to say “cacophony”). I tried composing a cacophony symphony in my mind. But, alas, I’m not musically inclined.
I began to wonder why management didn’t make some kind of announcement or at least start a sing-a-long to spread some Christmas cheer.
Now hunger pangs were knocking on my door. WW Sandy was practicing mindfulness while her alter ego was considering all the candy bars within reach.
By the half hour mark, I began singing (behind my mask, of course) 525,600 minutes (from Seasons of Love) in order to measure my time in Walmart. Every minute was beginning to feel like a year.
In addition to hunger, I was experiencing other basic needs, but did not want to lose my first in line status. If I left, came back, and resumed my original position in line, would I be not guilty by reason of meltdown. Would other customers start hurling insults or objects at me?
It is now one day away from New Year’s Eve and I am still in the Christmas check-out line. I refuse to leave until the computers return from their vacation.
Until next time, here’s some Weight Watcher advice. Go to Walmart, load up your cart with healthy fruits and veggies, snack on them while you wait for a week in line. When you emerge, you will be 5 pounds lighter and happier. Wishing all of you a lighter 2021!

Saturday, November 21, 2020
Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-seven

Thursday, November 05, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-six
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
Chapter Forty-six: Let's Talk Turkey
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Wild Turkey |
My research assistant, Zeus, tells me that turkeys may attempt to dominate or attack people they view as subordinates. In other words, they have a pecking order (pun intended). Who would have thought these belligerent birds could be such racists? So here’s my advice to you: Beware of Tom when he puffs up his body and shakes his tail feathers at you. You definitely do not want to be subordinate at this time! (This is his mating dance). Do not let him corner you. Do the turkey trot as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Just hope you can do this faster than 25mph.
I am even more intimidated by dead turkeys! My sister has traditionally hosted Thanksgiving dinner at her house. Due to social distancing and remodeling of her kitchen (Some people will do anything to opt out of hosting duties), I may have to cook the turkey, make all the sides and bake the pies for just Edward the Great and me. I have never made a complete turkey meal myself. How is this WW related you may ask? I will tell you. I have options. I can attempt to make all of the above, but eat small portions. I can call the DoorDash people. I can go to my daughter’s house, and let her deal with the Butterball hotline (1-800-288-8372 or 1-800-BUTTERBALL).
As a last resort, I can stay home and have a Wild Turkey Bourbon liquid meal. My research tells me that it is a combination of high proof, a great price and flavor qualities possibly approaching a perfect storm. Not much fiber in this meal, but it’s Thanksgiving and I’m thankful I do not have to cook.
Until next week or next year (whenever I get around to writing again), Bottoms Up! Repeat this several times and be slap happy! Also, beware of turkeys.

Saturday, July 18, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-five
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
Chapter Forty-five
As an avid reader of books, the type consisting of many pages bound together and protected by a hard cover, I especially miss my weekly trips to the library. Libraries were put into the non-essential business category and were forced to temporarily close their doors. Yes, I’m still reading on my Chromebook and iPhone, but I can honestly say I have never had a problem turning the pages of my real, hand held book. Unlike recently when my computer screen froze and would not allow me to advance the page of the titillating book I was attempting to read. The forward and back arrow keys refused my commands. Full disclosure: I was reading Never Love a Highlander by Maya Banks. Perhaps the steamy Scottish romance fogged up more than my brain, causing my “book” to malfunction.
This is WW related because during this pandemic I find myself just settling in so many ways. My research tells me that settling happens when you feel like you're losing little bits of yourself. Prior to self-isolation, I would be reading new releases by my favorite authors: Patterson, Baldacci, Grishom, Parker, King (sometimes) to name a few. Now the wait list for their ebooks is longer than your journey to Goal.
I’m determined to no longer settle for second best when it is related to my eating habits. No more excuses. I’m going to concentrate on what I can do to lose weight rather than harboring negative thoughts about my current weight.
I’m also back to borrowing books from libraries, relatives and friends. Currently on loan from my East Coast son is Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series. I’m on Book IV of VIII, enjoying them so much and considering “crying my son’s pardon”* when I “forget” to return them.
Note to self: Hoard books for next pandemic or Round Two of the current one.
Until next week, “I wish you longer days and pleasant nights.”* Don’t settle for second best and be happier.
*Credit to The Dark Tower

Friday, April 24, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-four
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
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Aloha Friday at 21! |
Chapter Forty-four
It’s getting harder to stay light-hearted during this never ending pandemic with dire warnings about future Covids. I can’t even say I’m going to run away and join a circus anymore, due to lack of circuses. In the past, I used to tell my husband, Edward the Great, that I was going to run away from home, and don’t look for me in Hawaii, my favorite place in the world. Now it’s not even legal to run away. Could running away be considered a necessary trip outside?
During the late 60’s, when I first flew to Waianae, Hawaii on the leeward side of Oahu, to assume my fifth grade teaching position, the biggest problems facing me were a major airline strike and learning to pronounce Hawaiian names. Now I don’t know how I would manage to snorkel wearing a cloth mask. It would probably feel like waterboarding torture.
So fifty years later, on sleepless nights (it’s 2:00 am), I travel back across the Pacific Ocean to visit with my 21 year old self while listening to the Don Ho radio station on Pandora. BTW, I can still sing “Pearly Shells” in Hawaiian! And I often listened to Don Ho perform in person at his nightclub. To ward off panic attacks, I visualize myself lying on the beach at Pokai Bay in my bikini (no need for WW at that time). I can feel the tradewinds playing with my long, BROWN hair. I can smell the heady fragrances of all the exotic tropical plants. I’m traveling again on the Likelike Highway (LEE-kay-LEE-kay) from Honolulu to the windward side of Paradise to visit the Polynesian Cultural Center. I’m driving a baby blue Mustang that my roommate (and 4th grade teacher) had shipped from her home in San Jose, California. To paraphrase “The Blues Brothers,” there are 5000 miles from here to Pittsburgh, we’ve got a full tank of gas, it’s dark out and we’re wearing sunglasses. I left out the part about a half a pack of cigarettes since we didn’t smoke (the 60’s were almost over).
When we weren’t exploring our island, we could be found in our classrooms learning pidgin English, while trying to teach proper grammar. I’ll never forget one student who decorated his Open House folder with swear words. When I asked him why he did this, he said his Mother can’t read English. Actually, I’ll never forget all of my students that year. I hope they are happily married with children of their own. I hope they remember me fondly, too. Now the song “I’ll Remember You” is playing in my head. Perhaps I’ll return to Hawaii’s arms to stay some day.
How is all of this WW related? Well, I just demonstrated a visualization technique that took me to my happy place. Perhaps you can do the same. If I have gained a few pounds lately (which I have), I can blame it on the menehunes, the mischievous little people of Hawaii. Today, my plan is to get back on track. If can can. If no can, no can. If tracking doesn’t work right now, I’ll live by that Pidgin Philosophy for a few more weeks. Either way, I pau! Aloha nui loa.
Until next week, go to your happy place, but wear a mask.

Friday, April 17, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-three
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
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Contains no Kryptonite! |
Chapter Forty-three
My green Kryptonite (it comes in other colors, even periwinkle) is mint chocolate chip ice cream. Even my blood and skin are turning green from consuming copious amounts. It is weakening my superpowers. It’s a bullhorn within the freezer summoning me. I have no willpower to resist its call. Edward the Great dislikes the flavor and the chocolate (What is wrong with him? Actually, don’t get me started on that topic), therefore, I can eat straight out of the carton.
I saw on the news that it’s a scientific fact that isolation makes people hungrier. CNN acquired this data by observing me for the last month. They also reported that grocery stores in my area are completely out of minty, crystalline, strength-draining, frozen bullhorns. Fake news blamed it on hoarders; I blamed it on me.
What to do? WW would tell me to use portion control, diversionary tactics, meditation, or activity in order to resist temptation. I’m considering stronger tactics such as putting a lock on my freezer and hiding the key, duct taping my mouth closed or recreating a 1984 David Letterman stunt involving wearing a velcro suit, jumping on a mini trampoline in order to launch myself face forward to hook and loop myself to a wall. ETG could periodically unvelcro me for healthy meals and other necessities.
I just thought of one other fun diversionary tactic. I’m considering clicking repeatedly on the water (+) tracking part of the WW app. I love seeing the blue waves that appear with each click. I wonder how many 8 oz containers the app will let me accumulate before sexy voiced guy on “Manage Your Stress: Headspace’s Guided Meditations” rescues me from drowning or WW bans me from tracking.
My research assistant (Zeus) just informed me that Andy Puddicombe is the British voice on Headspace. He is actually its co-founder. He’s a former Buddhist monk who was fully ordained in a Tibetan monastery. Dear WW, is it okay to think that a former monk is sexy?
In conclusion, I’ve decided to do one of three things to stop my out of control eating of my favorite ice cream: I’m going to stop bringing it into my house or I’m going to join a Tibetan monastery or I’m going to switch to Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, it’s white!
Until next week, be more mindful and be happier.

Friday, April 03, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-two
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
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Zeus, please sign! |
Chapter Forty-two
During my enforced isolation period due to the COVID-19 quarantine, I decided to devote a huge portion of my time to home-schooling Zeus. Thanks to attending previous classes with a local K-9 officer, Zeus graduated Summa Cum Average in basic, intermediate and advanced obedience lessons. He even passed his Good Citizen test. However, Zeus’ CEO mindset has kept him from achieving Laude status. I do not blame Officer Mike for Zeus’ lack of discipline. I blame myself for not assuming the Alpha role in our pack of three. I was given all the necessary tools for success, but did not use them consistently.
So starting today, Zeus is now enrolled in remedial behavior classes. I’ve been developing a syllabus for a canine code of conduct that defines my expectations for Zeus and his responsibilities. My goal is to have a well-mannered 3 year old German Shepherd who does not bark like a crazed Cujo when the doorbell rings, allows invited guests to enter our home willingly and heels on a leash preventing future thumb injuries to the leash holder (Edward the Great or me)! Objective: The student will be able to walk beside me for 3 minutes (measurable objective), at my pace, and stop and sit at attention when I stop. He will not embarrass me by using his superior strength to pull me in a horizontal position as if I were the sled in an Iditarod race and he, the lead dog.
Zeus’ first assignment is to read the syllabus and acknowledge his understanding of the objectives by his paw print signature. I’ve discussed rewards and motivation with Zeus, and he agrees that pretzel rods, string cheese, mini marshmallows and Blue Buffalo biscuits would be excellent motivation. He also suggested lots of praise and belly rubs.
I’m also creating a WW syllabus for myself. I know my goals. Trust me, they are measurable in pounds. I, again, have all the tools necessary for success, but do not use them consistently. My mindset often goes astray, visiting places where chocolate bunnies live. I may enlist the aid of Officer Mike to be my personal food policeman. He’s definitely an Alpha type guy. I would have to think twice (or at least 3 times) about disobeying him, depending on the appeal of the food calling to me. As for rewards and motivation, praise also works for me, but belly rubs are optional.
Until next week, be the Alpha in your own life and be happier.

Friday, March 27, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-one
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
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Free the balloon animals! |
Chapter Forty-one
I ventured out into the wild blue yonder recently (Go Air Force!) while performing complex pandemic risk factor algorithms in my head, surprised and pleased that everything looked normal. No people in hazmat suits or military vehicles or toilet paper thieves lurking behind trees. I decided that news bingeing about ways to stay healthy was dangerous to my health! Instead I was going to see my doctor about my right thumb that was not behaving as a right thumb should. It was moving up and down in painful jerky motions and not getting a proper grip on life or my snacks.
Usually I take a book with me to any appointment. However, I finished my last book from our now closed library. I couldn’t read anything on my phone since I had just finished my first WW virtual workshop on Zoom which caused my battery power to flatline. I didn’t want to touch any magazines in the exam room for fear of nineteen lurking viruses. So after 1 hour of being left to my own devices, I began looking around the room for ways to amuse myself.
First I prayed the Rosary for all the suffering people in the world. That took up 15 minutes. Then I thought about looking in all the drawers, but was afraid of getting caught. Latex gloves hanging on the wall offered the possibility of balloon animals, but I did not want to waste much needed supplies or be referred to a psychiatrist. I could always practice my line dancing steps while humming “Fly Me to the Moon,” but again did not want to be discovered. Did I dare try to Google how to take your own blood pressure for people stuck in an exam room for two hours? The scale was calling to me, but I did not want to step on my nemesis fully clothed. I kept reminding myself that a thumb exam did not require nudity. Then I spotted my salvation: the paper towel holder!
After waving my hand in front of the holder, it dispensed two sheets of writing paper. The perfect gift for keeping a writer from approaching insanity. After writing the first paragraph to this chapter, the nurse came in to take my vitals.
Now we get to the WW part of my story. I knew from seeing my bloodwork results on the online portal that my cholesterol was on the low end of the high range, but the results were still flagged in red. I felt discouraged about my borderline lipids being called to everyone’s attention. Did you see them? The nurse looked back at my previous numbers, and told me my LDL actually came down 30 points from three months ago. This made me realize that I might not be at my goal, but I’m going in the right direction. It’s all about my perception of where I am now as compared to where I used to be, whether it’s cholesterol or weight. We need to celebrate our successes.
Finally, Dr. Johnny-Come-Lately arrived, diagnosed my condition as a trigger finger thumb (possibly due to an injury from pulling on Zeus’ leash at his last vet appointment - bad dog), injected it with a shot of cortisone and sent me home with the admonition to stay out of trouble. I overheard him telling the nurse to never leave me unattended for long periods of time again.
Until next week, be creative during our isolation protocol and be happier.

Friday, March 20, 2020
The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
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Some fear width & Zeus |
Chapter Forty
One of my favorite comedians, Steven Wright, once said, “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.” I happen to be in the same phobia club as Steven. There must be some deep-rooted traumatic event in my past that caused this debilitating fear (perhaps a lab accident involving gamma radiation). If you even attempt to come near me with a tape measure, my immediate psychological response is to switch over to Personality #2 (The Hulk). For your own good, please do not emotionally provoke me.
My good friends, Merriam and Webster, define “width” as the horizontal measurement taken at right angles to the length. I define my “width” as custom bodywork that’s wider than stock. If I were a Lamborghini, my bodywork would be luxurious and priced between $200,000 to $500,000. Sad to say, I’m more like an oversize truck in need of an escort vehicle. I can aspire to be an Italian sports car, but trucks can be fun, too.
Which brings me to ponder a recent WW Weekly topic on perfection. Coach Kathy told me that trying to be perfect is unrealistic. So unlike Mary Poppins, I’m going to accept the fact that I’m practically imperfect in every way. I’m going to focus on the beauty of imperfections in nature. We all know that the most precious real pearls are those that are formed in nature. The oyster has to deal with an irritant, then coats it with 23 daily Smart Points until it’s no longer an annoyance. Voila! After 5 to 20 years, a saltwater pearl is formed (about the length of time until I reach my goal weight). I’m usually smarter than an oyster, so while I am self-isolating, closing my borders and dealing with irritants (Edward the Great), I’m going to laugh more, read and write more, but eat less.
I just finished reading “Blue Moon” by Lee Child. In this novel, Jack Reacher conducts a WW workshop by incorporating what he learned in the army with Wellness that Works: “It’s something they teach you in the army. The only thing under your direct control is how hard you work. In other words, if you really, really buckle down today, and you get the intelligence, the planning, and the execution each a hundred percent exactly correct, then you are bound to prevail. What the army really means is, if you fail today, it’s completely your own fault.”
Like Steven Wright, “I’m writing a book. I have the page numbers done; now I just have to fill in the rest.” Also, “I’ve written several children’s books...Not on purpose.”
As for laughing more, I’m going to watch videos of long ago favorites: Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, George Gobel, Victor Borge falling off his piano bench, Topo Gigio ( a 10 inch, half pound foam rubber mouse puppet featured on Ed Sullivan), the Smothers Brothers and more Steven Wright quotes such as, “ I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.” Until next week, stay healthy and be happier.
