Cuteness Day: Sloths
I think God has a sense of humor (I hope He laughs at myposts), but I wonder what He was thinking when He created the sloth. Sloth: Darn, I forgot it's Fallday!
Sloth: While I'm down here, I'll take care of my weekly business (pooping)!
Digs a little hole, poops, covers it and climbs back up the tree in slow motion, recovers for six days only to repeat the cycle next week.
In a tree, a sloth takes on the persona of your couch potato friend (or maybe a fall prone Dick Van Dyke). However, in the water he becomes a Michael Phelps clone. I read that a sloth can hold his breath for up to 40 minutes. Someone once said (that someone may have been my askGpt friend and I don't want to be arrested by the plagiarism police) on land they move like a loading progress bar, but in the water they look almost competent! (wish I had thought of that analogy)
I have a surprise announcement. I've been training my pet sloth (pictured above) to compete in the Summer Olympics of 2028 in Los Angeles. Molasses is entered in the first ever 50 meter Slothy Paddle. Stay tuned to hear more about his progress. In sloth time, that means you will never hear the results.
Molasses and other sloths often mistake their arm for a tree branch. There are reports of sloths trying to grab onto their own arm, losing balance and falling (perhaps accounting for weekly fall statistics). I'm wondering if their brains, in addition to their bodies, are also working in power save mode.
Molasses spends 90% of his time hanging upside down. I have no clue what he is thinking about. I would be thinking about my next meal. Molasses eats a leaf a week!
It's difficult to interact with a sloth pet. I've had to fine tune my expectations. Today, I'm going to put a Do Not Disturb sign around my neck in solidarity with Molasses (I put one around his ankles) and watch algae grow on his fur. This is way more fun than watching paint dry!
We are also going to have a contest to see who can smile the most. This was M's idea. I don't think I have a chance at winning. Molasses may be an introvert, but at least he's a happy one.
I hope you enjoyed your fix of cuteness. Perhaps there will be more to come. I'd love to hear your suggestions for something cute to write about. One of the hardest things for this writer is coming up with ideas. If your idea is selected for future posts, you won't win a prize, but you will be mentioned in the credits that my 202,108 readers (this is a real accounting of my viewers) will see. Good luck and don't be a sloth about commenting on this post, please!
Listen to sloths asking you to comment:
They had a lot to say!
Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.
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