Friday, December 13, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-six

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-six

On this WW odyssey, there are an infinite number of trials and tribulations in our way, preventing us from reaching our goal. Like Homer’s Odysseus, some of us (me) have been on this epic journey ten years or more.

Storms are raging around us while the Siren call of overeating lures us with her enchanting song toward the rocks. We could have a loved one tie us to a kitchen chair in order to hear her song, but not fall victim to it. We must also be as clever as Odysseus in order to outsmart our personal Mr. Cyclops. Just remember not to taunt him. Dire consequences will follow.

One way to be clever is to ask for help. I asked Zeus, the king of the German Shepherds in Seeley mythology, to help me not only with daily activity points, but also with decorating for Christmas. As you can see from the picture, he was happy to help. Isn’t he a handsome boy? After playing untangle the lights, he insisted on going outside multiple times for reindeer games, modified for GSD’s and humans.

Cleverest of all, I asked my favorite husband ( only have one, but sometimes “favorite” is also Seeley mythology. Just sayin’ Ed!) for help. Please do not eat my WW popcorn, treats, potatoes (I’m passionate about myWW’s purple plan and pointless potatoes), and food in general. He agreed and mentioned that he never actually eats my stash.He added that perhaps I’m exercising creative license at his expense. Perhaps I am!

In all seriousness, our family, friends, co-workers, etc. are not mind readers (except for that one Carnac the Magnificent in every social circle). So let people know what you need to return home from your WW odyssey to Ithaca, New York or wherever home (Lifetime) is located. Hopefully, Argos, your faithful dog, will recognize you no matter how much weight you have lost.

Zeus recognizes me every time I come home. He also recognizes, from my scent alone, every nibble I may have even thought about during my time away from him. Note to guests to our home: Zeus may try to eat you (or at least lick you repeatedly) if you are wearing Christmas Cocoa and Mint body lotion from Bath and Body Works. WW member confession time: I’ve been known to lick myself into a drunken stupor when wearing Black Cherry Merlot hand lotion from Bath and Body Works for a zero point treat. Post Script note to fragrant guests: Beware of me!

Until next week, be very clever and happier on your WW odyssey.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.


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Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

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