The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-eight

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss                                               

By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-eight

We, as WW members, have just relegated 2019 into the Christmas Past category. It is now time to start thinking about changes that must be made before the arrival of Christmas Future. As in “A Christmas Carol’” the future is mysterious and unknowable.

My personal goal (Resolution) is to be at my goal weight by Christmas 2020. Losing four pounds a month should be a piece of cake, right? Wrong analogy! Pieces of cake are not conducive to weight loss. However, there is no mystery involved with following the WW plan. Even though the future is unknowable, we do have some control over its outcome.

So here’s my plan. Today is December 27th. I have five days to lose one pound, which means one pound already in the debit column of weight loss 2020. I’m going to take this pound and convert it to dollars as a credit in my bank account. Since a British pound is worth more (I think) than a US dollar, and since math confuses me (when in Toronto, I reached a point of saying here’s all my money, please give me the correct change!), I’m just going to give myself $5.00 for every pound lost (measurable WW goal). By Christmas Future, I will have enough money saved to buy a killer little black dress. Add some strappy heels and newly acquired dancing skills and I will be ready to celebrate a rockin’ New Year’s Eve with my favorite husband, Edward the Great!

I just want to give a shout-out to ETG. We have been married for 41 years. Last night, he winked at me and my heart did a little stutter step (not a modern term, but neither are we). Google a “stutter step” video to see the fun way my heart reacted. My old blue eyes still has the magic wicked wink (touch - blush, blush). He is also very supportive of my weight loss efforts, and tells me how proud he is of me. Yay for Team Seeley! Also, stutter steps (euphemism) are great activity points!

As the new year approaches, I think like Scrooge, we can all have a change of heart. With the arrival of Christmas Future, we can all be better versions of ourselves.

I will conclude with the words of Tiny Tim and say, ““God bless us, every one!”

Until next week and next year, be tinier and happier!

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

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The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-seven

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss                           

By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-seven

Road trips and belly laughs shared with a favorite sister are priceless. For example, we recently drove from Pittsburgh to Cleveland, a quick two hour trip. We were in the slow lane when out of nowhere a car passed us (flying low). My sister said, “Wow! I didn’t see that coming!” At the same time, we both realized the car was completely covered in camouflage paint. It felt wonderful to laugh in unison for an extended period of time. In fact, I still chuckle to myself when I think about it. Also, I think “chuckle” is a funny word. Did I just write a double entendre (not the smutty kind) or make a pun? Either way, this is one reason I write - to amuse myself, and hopefully, you, too. I just want to add that I got my humorous gene from my sister. She’s younger than me, but that’s the way humor genes roll.

How is this myWW related you may ask? Well, I started thinking about all the times in life that events or people come into our lives at the most unexpected times. A person could be an angel in camouflage, either literally or figuratively speaking. I’d love to see St. Michael the Archangel in full army gear. Perhaps I have. These thoughts make me think of WW’s mindset. How do we react to rude people we encounter when we are out and about, especially at this time of the year? Was my parking spot “stolen” before I could claim it? Do I get so angry at things beyond my control that I go home to eat the whole enchilada? It’s only 8 smart points, right?

Why not laugh at rudeness, parking spot thieves, long lines, gridlock, politics (not going there), weather, even if only you can hear the sound of it underneath your babushka (when was the last time you heard that word?). I recently heard a man tell someone in a grocery store to “move your dupa!” I laughed out loud. Now when I want someone to move their_ _ _, my mind inserts the word “dupa” and I’m laughing instead of thinking about Spanish goodies or French pastries or Italian pasta. My appetite is an international wonder!

I truly believe that laughter uses up calories and anger. It’s the best anger management tool invented by woman (probably). So on your next road trip (local mall), you can hire my sister or me to go with you. We guarantee funny results. Price is negotiable.

Until next week, embrace the unexpected with laughter and be happier.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

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The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-six

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-six

On this WW odyssey, there are an infinite number of trials and tribulations in our way, preventing us from reaching our goal. Like Homer’s Odysseus, some of us (me) have been on this epic journey ten years or more.

Storms are raging around us while the Siren call of overeating lures us with her enchanting song toward the rocks. We could have a loved one tie us to a kitchen chair in order to hear her song, but not fall victim to it. We must also be as clever as Odysseus in order to outsmart our personal Mr. Cyclops. Just remember not to taunt him. Dire consequences will follow.

One way to be clever is to ask for help. I asked Zeus, the king of the German Shepherds in Seeley mythology, to help me not only with daily activity points, but also with decorating for Christmas. As you can see from the picture, he was happy to help. Isn’t he a handsome boy? After playing untangle the lights, he insisted on going outside multiple times for reindeer games, modified for GSD’s and humans.

Cleverest of all, I asked my favorite husband ( only have one, but sometimes “favorite” is also Seeley mythology. Just sayin’ Ed!) for help. Please do not eat my WW popcorn, treats, potatoes (I’m passionate about myWW’s purple plan and pointless potatoes), and food in general. He agreed and mentioned that he never actually eats my stash.He added that perhaps I’m exercising creative license at his expense. Perhaps I am!

In all seriousness, our family, friends, co-workers, etc. are not mind readers (except for that one Carnac the Magnificent in every social circle). So let people know what you need to return home from your WW odyssey to Ithaca, New York or wherever home (Lifetime) is located. Hopefully, Argos, your faithful dog, will recognize you no matter how much weight you have lost.

Zeus recognizes me every time I come home. He also recognizes, from my scent alone, every nibble I may have even thought about during my time away from him. Note to guests to our home: Zeus may try to eat you (or at least lick you repeatedly) if you are wearing Christmas Cocoa and Mint body lotion from Bath and Body Works. WW member confession time: I’ve been known to lick myself into a drunken stupor when wearing Black Cherry Merlot hand lotion from Bath and Body Works for a zero point treat. Post Script note to fragrant guests: Beware of me!

Until next week, be very clever and happier on your WW odyssey.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

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Dancing Transformation

Dancing Transformation

I’m thrilled to say I lost 3 pounds last week (45.8 so far) due to myWW Purple Plan and dancing in lines. I have now progressed from non-dancer status to getting a standing ovation from my whole line dancing class. Let me explain: Paul, my instructor, was dancing the Country Waltz (my favorite line dance) with me, while the rest of the class danced solo. Paul is the only male in our class, therefore he’s very much in demand as a partner (lucky me).

As Paul and I one, two, threed our way from Texas to the big Montana sky (dancing to Say Goodbye to Montana) I lost myself in the music and movement. When the song ended, the whole class erupted in applause. Does it count as a standing ovation if everyone is already standing? Does it count as applause for me if the students typically clap at the end of a dance? Did I look like an idiot when I thanked the crowd for acknowledging my progress and they were just randomly clapping? It doesn’t matter! I did NOT look like an idiot while dancing in public and having the time of my life.

So again, I thank the person on Connect who suggested that I take a line dancing class. I also started attending a senior swing class with some Latin rhythms. Stay tuned for some salsa spiced thoughts.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

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The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-five

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-five                                                   

I think next year WW should have a float in Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. All WW members would live in a crate in New Jersey until the big day. We would then have to audition for the part of WW Float cast member.

To get the part, we would have had to do the usual WW requirements while living in our crate like, tracking, tallying points and trimming our portions. Otherwise known as the Triple T strategy.

The second part of our audition would require the willingness to be filled with nitrous oxide (laughing gas) which is actually denser than air. We don’t want to float away with all the helium filled balloons surrounding us. Instead of singing for the crowd in front of Macy’s, we would all be laughing uncontrollably to let the world know how happy WW members are. It would be a cacophony of laughter. (I just like to say cacophony!)

I once experienced laughing gas first hand at a tooth extraction session. (Think fear of the sadistic dentist in the movie “Marathon Man.”) I drove myself home, laughing out loud the whole way. Going to the oral surgeon is so much fun!

And finally, our audition judges would measure our wind speed (excuses for not losing weight) with the dreaded anemometer! I will leave it to your imagination (mine is vivid) to figure out how this works.

I actually got to ride on the Green Giant Float in the parade this year. That’s me in the picture waving to the crowd. I was selected for this honorary position due to the number of vegetables, especially green ones, consumed by me this year. At the bottom of the picture, but out of sight, is my handler, a food police officer, one of New York’s finest. He kept me following the letter of WW law to reach my half-way to goal milestone.

I wish you luck on your audition next year. I plan on being 100% at goal (minus a few pounds more as a safety flotation device). Send me your ideas for the theme of our WW Float 2020. See you in New York next year and in Connect next week.

Until then, be aware of your TTT and be happier.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Continue Reading