Monday, August 19, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Six

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Six

The topic in today’s workshop was “Fats.” No surprise there. We are all fighting this enemy of the people on a daily basis.

I think of saturated fats as my body telling me she has had enough. Whether it’s market saturation, oxygen saturation, water saturation or fat saturation, the end result is the same. Something has to change. In our case, my friends, that something is us. We need to get our butts on the unsaturated side of the equation.

Knowing that we need to make this change is the easy part. Doing it is the challenging part. And do you know why? It’s because our butts are heavy! It is not easy for them to navigate equations. They are saturated with gunk. So where does the overflow go? It goes to our brains. Then they become saturated with gunk, too. Now our brains are not thinking in a rational way. Pretty soon, we are jiggling gunk monsters.

So “Who you gonna call? I’m calling on the Fatbusters! We all have access to a fat-extermination squad that will take on the saturated evil horror hordes. This squad does not consist of people in gray jumpsuits carrying proton packs. It consists of our WW toolbox. We all have one. Every week we are given tools/weapons for self-defense situations. Choose your weapons carefully. No need for overkill. Determine if you are fighting a hint of evil eerie purple in the background, a full-blown paranormal episode or the arrival of the apocalyptic end times,

You are the author of your own story, as I am the author of mine. I prefer to have a comical climax. Somehow I feel the need to clarify. I am talking about literary climaxes, folks. Whew, I am blushing. I want to defeat the inflated 100 foot tall homicidal Stay Puft Marshmallow Man living inside of me. I am winning this battle day by day. I know this because Mr. Stay Puft is shrinking.

Why am I now craving marshmallows? I have an unopened bag of Kraft Jet-Puffed Marshmallows in my snack drawer. I honestly did not buy them for me. They make delicious pill pockets for my writing assistant, Zeus. He has calculated that 4 of these = 5 Smart Points. Thankfully, neither of us need them.

If you want to add me to your Fatbuster toolbox, feel free to ask me questions or ask for advice. If the answers are too lighthearted, I may have again reached my saturation point or Zeus answered the question for me.

Until next week, be happier!

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.


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Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

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