Monday, August 19, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter One




The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
by Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter One

In today's lesson boys and girls, I am going to introduce the topic of "The Lighter Side of Weight Loss." Pun very much intended! But first allow me to suggest some tricks not to try at home. First, because they do not work, and second, because fifty years later you will ask yourself, "Was I always this stupid?"

In my twenties, I seem to remember going to a gym that had vibrating belts that circumnavigated my entire astronomical body. I thought, "This is great. I don't have to do anything except stand here while my body becomes a human milkshake!" I didn't lose any weight, but did enjoy a lot of milkshakes afterwards.

Still in my twenties, I thought it would be a good idea to have my body wrapped like a mummy, enter a heat chamber with only my head sticking out and emerge from my chrysalis as a beautiful thin butterfly. The only part of me that became thinner was my wallet! What was I thinking?

In my late twenties, I developed some brain cells and joined Weight Watchers. I became a Lifetime Member right before my wedding in 1978. I lost twenty-five pounds and they remained lost until after my children arrived in the 80's. My lost weight arrived with them. Childbirth is hard enough, not to mention birthing excess poundage.

I blame my children for sucking calcium out of my teeth, causing weight gain and diminished thinking capacity due to lack of sleep. So I tried some newer fads involving words like vinegar, cabbage soup, fasting, Garcinia Cambogia and others. Just thinking about these words revs my heartbeat, forcing my blood pressure into an unhealthy range. (I also blame my children for other grievous infractions, but due to the off chance that they might actually read one of my blogs, I will refrain from mentioning them.)

It's now 2019, in addition to growing older, I hope I've also become smarter. I'm back at Weight Watchers (now called WW) with high expectations for success. My Call To Action is to have you join me on this incredible journey-to-be. I will be posting articles on WW's Connect, Facebook and my own blog at sandraseeley.com. I'm hoping to lighten your mood, as well as my own on this weight loss journey. Please leave me comments with compliments (I call these 0 point treats), suggestions, support or even negative feedback if done in a positive way. If you like what you read here, it will be my non-scale victory. Thank you and welcome aboard!

P.S.
A recent non-scale victory: I got on the scale at last week's weigh-in, knowing the numbers were up a lot. I'm determined to have a loss this Saturday. Ask me how I did?


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.
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1 comment:

  1. Your kid blames her kid for her weight gain too, so I guess that's fair

    ReplyDelete

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Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

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