Saturday, January 04, 2014

Benjamin Casper and I (Me?)

Benjamin Casper is the protaganist in the book Mistress by James Patterson and David Ellis. This article is not so much a review of the book (which I loved, by the way), as it is me identifying with Benjamin. Nyet, I don't own a Triumph motorcycle, or constantly get machine-gunned (Is machine-gunned a verb?) by Russians, karate-chopped by Asians or confused by Americans. Well, actually, I do get confused by Americans quite often so, let the similarities begin and "May the odds be ever in your favor!"

Benjamin thinks theme music should play in real life during our most dramatic moments. I whole-heartedly agree. Wouldn't it be great if Jaws music played to foreshadow dangerous situations? We certainly wouldn't stick around to see a dorsal fin circling us. (Did you know that most sharks have 8 fins making them 8 times as dangerous as fish with fewer fins?) In fact, since Wal-Mart started playing Warning Music periodically over their loudspeakers, there have been 50% fewer shark attacks in their stores.

Benjamin also uses a lot of parentheses as he is narrating his story. I often carry parentheses with me in my pockets to explain the way my mind works to the average person. (Those are not fat deposits on my hips, they are parentheses in my pockets!)

I love the way Benjamin uses quotes from Kung Fu, Star Wars, The Raven and Kennedy's favorite poem: I Have a Rendezvous with Death. (I'm just waiting for the day someone will call me Grasshopper for being able to snatch a stink bug out of the air with my bare hands.) (Stay tuned for a future article called: Stinky Bugs.) (If I use up all the parentheses in my pockets, I may look 10 pounds lighter.)

Like me, Benjamin is funny (although some people may say we differ on that characteristic), writes on-line and wants a cool nickname. All my life I have wanted a cool nickname, but I'm still waiting for that to happen. Perhaps I'll add that to my Bucket List.

So, in conclusion, I highly recommend that you read both Mistress and Kanela's Korner for humor, intrigue and suspense. To quote Benjamin, "Trust me, I'm not as normal as I seem." (Oh, by the way, I didn't see the ending to Mistress coming. I knew it was at the end of the book, but... Surprise!)

Please email comments and nicknames to (Very few people do. Sigh!)

1 comment:

  1. Kanela's Korner needs some theme music too... I can hear a Don Ho song now. Beautiful Kawaii? Pearly Shells? Or what about Somewhere Over the Rainbow?


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Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

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