Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Gerald, the Ford

This is not my Funny Ford!

Did you ever think that your car would think? Four wheels and a metal chassis are making you and me obsolete. Cars now parallel park for us and are being developed to drive Miss Daisy and everyone else. They will not allow us to run red lights or cruise through stop signs. They are motion detectors in motion. On long trips, they even engage us in conversation or play games with us to pass the time.

I just purchased the budget model of the Funny Ford. It doesn't do any of the above magic tricks, but it does keep me laughing on my daily commute. For example, when "Jerry" is hungry, he babbles non-stop about what he could "go for". Yesterday, he wanted Sunoco. Last week, he felt like having Get Go. On diet days, he asks for regular unleaded gasoline. What he doesn't realize is that medical research has proven this gas to be addictive. Jerry is just going to crave more gas in a few days.

All that horse power under the hood and brain power in the driver's seat, has made Jerry a bit of a flirt. He followed a cute Mustang all the way to her garage repeatedly. She eventually had to get a restraining order against him.

You can just imagine how Jerry reacts when he spots AAA buildings, car washes, tire stores, and 10 minute oil changes. Let's just say he loves to shop.

Jerry is also a huge NASCAR fan. He once crashed a race literally and figuratively. He invited himself into the starting line-up and then proceeded to trip over his own wheels. Jerry, the Ford, has earned his reputation as Mr. Clumsy.

In conclusion, what do you think about thinking cars? Email your thoughts or your car's thoughts to Kanela@sandraseeley.com

Today's rate is $3.85 per comment. You don't have to understand why you are paying so much for humor, you just need to recognize the demand for Kanela's humor fluctuates daily. Checks, money orders, credit cards, Lottery tickets, cash, and demands can all be emailed to my Swiss Bank Account. See my article: "From Piggy Bank to Swiss Bank". Viewing this article is not a requirement, I'm just thinking if demand increases, my rate per comment will also increase. Fill-up on Kanela today!

1 comment:

  1. I'm Gerald the Ford, and I approve this article.


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Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

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