The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-nine

Change

Change is in the winds and clouds. To quote Mary Poppins: Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like somethin’ is brewin’ and bout to begin. 

Can you feel the shift in the air pressure? Are you anticipating the possibilities of a new year? Will you embrace change?

The first change that is happening to me on January 1, 2021 (and probably a few other people) is that I will no longer be able to print from my Chromebook to the Cloud. I have been using this feature for years. So instead of sulking and waiting for my brother (and tech guru) who lives 3000 miles away from me, to come to my rescue remotely, and feeling empowered from just watching Wonder Woman 1984, I did my research on adding printers, grabbed my golden Lasso of Truth, donned my golden wings and took the risk of solving my own problem. Successful I was, but not without a few hurdles. The highest hurdle was locating the address of my printer. I rightly assumed it was not the same as mine, even though we live in the same house. The test print worked like a charm and I am now free to face more changes or in military lingo “embrace the suck!”

By the way, I watched WW84 on HBO Max. I just found out I had this app through Comcast. I called Comcast to ask tech support how to access this channel. I waited on hold longer than my wait at Walmart (see previous Chapter Forty-eight), so while waiting, I managed to solve my own problem, but had a relaxing conversation about movies when tech guy answered my call. So I already have two wins and the New Year hasn’t even started yet. “I Am Woman…”

These wins are putting the momentum on my side on this weight loss journey. I did not like the change to virtual WW workshops, so I stopped attending. Big mistake! Look for me at the next virtual meeting in Greensburg with coach extraordinaire, Kathy, on January 9th at 9 am. Mary Poppins told me, “Anything can happen if you let it.”

I received a much desired Erin Condren planner for 2021 as a Christmas gift. I already started planning. In the past, I would have felt like I was getting a head start on not keeping my Resolutions! This is not how the “changed” me feels. I’m setting measurable goals, writing with colorful pens and decorating with stickers. My BF, Mary Poppins, told me “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.”

Another west coast brother (I have 3) told me about psychological flexibility as a way of changing one’s mindset in dealing with challenges. More on that later.

Until next time, “I shall stay until the wind changes” or the cloud, and be lighter and happier. That is also my wish for you.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

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Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Forty-eight

            

Stuck In Traffic

Holiday traffic was at a standstill. There were no accidents or icy road conditions. I was not in a food line or Covid test line or a gas line from a previous life. I was in a foot traffic line inside my local Walmart. I was in the “speedy” check-out line with seven items already on the conveyor belt, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but store wide shut- down of all computers. I make a motion to have cash registers in place for emergency use. Besides being manually operative, I believe they are hack proof. Then I won’t have to worry about being a victim of data breach from Cozy Bear (Russians) or anyone else. 

I really wanted my seven items, and couldn’t purchase them anywhere else, so I began searching my mind for ways to amuse myself while waiting. I started with people watching. Humans started abandoning full to the brim grocery carts while melty items dripped into puddles. Soon the alcove in front of me started looking like the deserted cars along a highway in a scene from The Stand. 

Noise levels started rising as crying children and angry adults (some of them crying also) created a musical cacophony (I like to say “cacophony”). I tried composing a cacophony symphony in my mind. But, alas, I’m not musically inclined.

I began to wonder why management didn’t make some kind of announcement or at least start a sing-a-long to spread some Christmas cheer. 

Now hunger pangs were knocking on my door. WW Sandy was practicing mindfulness while her alter ego was considering all the candy bars within reach. 

By the half hour mark, I began singing (behind my mask, of course) 525,600 minutes (from Seasons of Love) in order to measure my time in Walmart. Every minute was beginning to feel like a year. 

In addition to hunger, I was experiencing other basic needs, but did not want to lose my first in line status. If I left, came back, and resumed my original position in line, would I be not guilty by reason of meltdown. Would other customers start hurling insults or objects at me?  

It is now one day away from New Year’s Eve and I am still in the Christmas check-out line. I refuse to leave until the computers return from their vacation. 

Until next time, here’s some Weight Watcher advice. Go to Walmart, load up your cart with healthy fruits and veggies, snack on them while you wait for a week in line. When you emerge, you will be 5 pounds lighter and happier. Wishing all of you a lighter 2021!

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Continue Reading