Saturday, September 28, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Fifteen

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Fifteen

I owe my weight loss this week to an anthropomorphic, red, Jamaican-accented crab named Sebastian from Disney’s The Little Mermaid. My sister claims he’s a lobster, but my anthropomorphic research assistant, Zeus, discovered that Disney claims that Sebastian is a crab, yet their store sells Sebastian the lobster. So make up your mind Disney people.

So what did Sebastian do for me? Hard to believe, but I still have his cassette “Sebastian’s Party Gras” and a means of playing it while walking on my treadmill. I have not done any strenuous physical activity, such as walking on a treadmill, for many years due to degenerative arthritis in my lower back. But this week, I logged 8 miles, walking 2 mph through my pain.

Sebastian told me not to act like a sea slug. He also said to arise, wake up and face the morning sun. Then he got more adamant by telling me, “When the going gets tough, you got to show your stuff!” Followed by, “The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory.” Crabby Sebastian is just full of cliches, but that’s okay because he sings his cliches to sweet music involving percussion, drums, horns and other Jamaican flavored sounds.

Sebastian told Ariel that the human world is a mess. Isn’t that the truth? I’ve decided to spend less time worrying about messy situations and more time floating in a bubble under the sea, if only in my mind. When I surface, I will tally me bananas, which will always add up to zero points. Then I will tally me pineapple, mango, cantaloupe, watermelon, grapes, and strawberries, day in, day out and “Day- O” until my scale balances at goal weight.

Sad to say, I’m on my way, I hear the treadmill calling me. I won’t be back for many a day, Saturday to be exact. But three little birds told me and you not to worry about a thing ‘cause every little thing’s going to be alright.

So arise my Caribbean crustacean crabs, lobsters and WW friends. Until next week, don’t worry, be happier and move more.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.


  1. Well now we know! Thanks for clearing that up�� Sebastian sounds like the perfect singing companion to accompany you on your very long walks. Keep up the great work!

  2. I remember that cassette tape! Not sure if it's the best idea to listen to it while trying to lose weight, as the title translates to "Sebastian's fat party!" 😂 It seems to be working for you, though! 8 miles, great job!


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Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

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