Monday, March 27, 2006

Does Anyone Else...?

By Kanela

Perhaps you're like me and wonder about things for years with no answers forthcoming. Well, today's column is finally going to address some of those thought provoking questions.

For example, does anyone else wonder why Albanians are always referred to as "Ethnic Albanians"? Not that there's been a lot of press coverage lately about Albania, but as I said, these thoughts float around in my head for years. Why not ethnic Spanish, ethnic Greeks, Ethnic Australians, etc.? If ethnic means common traits and customs of groups of people, we might want to start classifying ethnic infants or ethnic elderly or ethnic criminal. And does anyone out there in readerland know where Albania is located?

Moving forward, sometimes I look at the "best dressed" photos of people and wonder if this is the best dressed, what does the "worst dressed" look like? Or could this just be envy that I wasn't invited and couldn't fit into a Size 2 even if I were invited?

Speaking of clothing, one of the less expensive brands of clothing has finally eliminated those annoying labels that scratch your neck and require surgical precision to remove. I was so excited when I heard about this until I realized this company permanently stamps their brand name and YOUR size onto that same neck area. Yes, readers, your favorite columnist would not reveal her size or weight even if her life depended upon it. I hope anesthesiologists factor in lying when calculating correct drug dosage!

Does anyone else remember when truck drivers used to flash their lights to let you know after passing them it was safe to move back in front of them? What a friendly gesture that was. That was probably Rule #1 in the Highway Courtesy Handbook. Since I started driving, I've seen lots of gestures on the highways but none of them were in that Handbook. By the way, where is the original Handbook? If you've read The Da Vinci Code you'll discover that its final resting place is right alongside the Holy Grail. I don't want to give away the ending but if you’re searching for it, you may want to brush up on your French.

In conclusion, Farm Aid is another thing I've been wondering about. I don't grow corn and I haven't seen one penny of "Don't Grow Corn Money".

If any of you have questions wandering around in your head for years, feel free to share them with me. I, in turn, will get my ethnic Albanian researchers to discover the truth for you. As soon as we locate Albania, we'll get right back to you.

Feel Free to Email me with your Research Questions.
Research Writer and Author, Sandra Seeley.
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2 comments:

  1. I am a proud Albanian American, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that Albania is NOT on Gorbachev's head, but on the Adriatic sea.

    -signed
    ImDaMom

    ReplyDelete
  2. neither of you are right, it is not on Gorbachev's head or in the Adraiatic sea, it is on your momma's head. duh, every 1 kno's that!!

    ReplyDelete

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Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, Bethel Park, PA and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Her humorous writing is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. She has often written as Kanela, which is her Pen Name and means Sandra in Hawaiian. Her serious writing is genuine and written from her heart. She lives in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA with her husband and Zeus, her 119 pound German Shepherd, who is her constant companion and writing assistant. They have ongoing discussions about which one is Alpha in their pack.

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