Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Sixty-three

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Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Sixty-three

Weight-Bearing Loads

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Here I am today falling into my deep-dish, top loading washing machine to retrieve clothes I can no longer reach easily. Why does my height shrink with age, but not my weight? I’m beginning to think my spine got the memo intended for my fat cells: compress, deflate, lose density! I actually overheard my belly and bumper car agreeing they were historical archives and not going anywhere. 

The only good thing about my X-ray report showing a fractured, titanium surgical plate and an Achilles heel bone spur in my right foot is having a fun chat today with Dr. Cute Foot Surgeon. In a professional way, he explained that an Achilles spur is basically a little middle finger made of bone shouting, “You want me to carry what…for how many decades?” 

Note to self: Take my Weight Watcher knowledge more seriously and do your upcoming physical therapy exercises religiously this time (unlike other times when I insisted PT did not work, but I wasn’t doing the work at home. Sigh!) At least Dr. Cutie did not recommend surgery! 

I have a structural engineer coming to evaluate the safety of my garage floor. I’m concerned that my year old Mustang is going to end up in my basement. Now I’m wondering if he should factor in my weight added to Silver’s 3,500 pounds or as I call it: one industrial strength bathroom scale error. Disclosure: I lie about my weight also. I once lied to my anesthesiologist believing he would add pounds at-a-glance! MY PCP is on to me. He no longer takes my word about my weight, but insists I get on his scale. Apparently, I feel about 140-ish in my heart is not an approved clinical measurement. 

I’m also carrying a weight-bearing load of problems to solve. I just signed an $18,000 contract with Groundworks to put a sump pump in my basement. I’m hiring Slagle Roofing to replace my 30 year old roof. Hopefully, State Farm is covering (pun intended) the cost. There is water coming into my house from the ground, from the sky and from my eyes! 

To prepare the basement for its emotional support bilge, I hired Mon Valley Hauling & Services to haul away 80 years of junk. Sidenote: I have an emotional support parrot you can read about at: https://www.sandraseeley.com/2026/03/emotional-support-parrot-captain-coconut.html

Along with junk removal, Brandon & Joe removed loads of mental weight. Is this a non-scale victory?

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

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